Twenty-Something: On Adult Friendship, Glow-Ups, Self-Love, Sweet Treats and More
Twenty-four lessons I've learned in my twenties so far, because your twenties are actually the best
I love being in my twenties.
I know I’ve said that before, but it’s worth saying again because society so often diminishes it as a decade of struggle and messiness.
And it is those things. But it’s also a decade of joy and growth.
So I love being in my twenties.
It’s so much less fraught than your teens. Or, maybe it’s still fraught, but we finally have the control and mindfulness to deal with it and learn from it.
Maybe it’s the A-student, overachiever in me, but I love the constant learning that being in my twenties brings. I love the opportunity to soak it all up and grow.
I enjoy the trial and error of figuring out what I want my life to be like. I thrive in building my purpose and outlook on life.
I’m laying the foundation for the woman that I’m going to be for the rest of my life.
How can that be anything but thrilling?
And so I observe. I take notes and catalogue lessons that I want to remember and weave into the fabric of that woman I’m becoming.
During my undergrad years, I kept lists of “Lessons I’m Learning in College,” and now, I keep a list titled “Lessons I’m Learning in My Twenties.”
The list is silly and deep. It’s simple and complex. It’s the field notes for what I’m sure will be my wildly successful memoir one day.
And so, I thought for this week’s post, I’d share some of my favorites from the list so far. You’ll recognize a lot of them as the seeds for previous musings of mine.
There’s still so much for me to learn, but if I do say so myself, I drop some major knowledge in there, so read on….
Twenty-Four Lessons I’ve Learned in My Twenties (So Far):
Falling in love with your own company is the best thing you can do as a young adult. It’s dangerous because you realize you don’t need anyone else to be happy, but it’s empowering because you realize you don’t need anyone else to be happy.
Keep putting yourself out there, don’t get complicit in your inner circle. Say yes often and keep an open mind to new connections.
Cooking isn’t as scary as I thought it was. It can even be fun.
Find friends who feel joy deep in their bones and will inspire you to do the same. Surround yourself with friends who will widen their eyes in absolute shock at every breathtaking note at a concert, who moan in delight at every bite of divine food, who start the dance party at every function, even (nay, especially) in the pouring rain. Find friends who will breathe in life as gloriously and dramatically as you.
My friends radiate joy- they fangirl over the new Superman movie with me and dance in the rain at 4th of July fireworks I can get a bomb tan while still protecting my skin with the right sunscreen.
If people are constantly relying on you to know and plan everything, they can’t get too mad when you sometimes mess up or make a mistake. Don’t let yourself fall into despair or take all the blame. Especially if something out of your control goes wrong.
Having a place of your own to decorate and do with what you please is just as wonderful as you dream it will be. It also comes with annoying adult responsibilities, but it’s worth it.
You’re not going to click with every person you meet. Friendships can’t be forced, and if they could, what would be the point? Give yourself grace and time to find your people.
It all comes back to purpose. When you clearly define the purpose of why you’re doing something, and return to that purpose when you feel unsure, you can always find your way back. Your life will be much more intentional.
Going on walks is actually really nice. The name “hot girl walk” is fitting because it does make you feel hotter.
I will require easy access to a pool for the rest of my life. I am the best version of myself when I have it, so it’s a must for me.
I’ve been spoiled and now I know that I thrive when I have easy pool access. Time moves incredibly fast; it’s worth it to put in the effort and play the long game because your goals will be realized before you know it. Things like getting my master’s degree and losing weight felt impossibly far away, and they took a lot of hard work and time, but they snuck up on me so quickly, and I’m glad I had the patience to see it through.
Always buy two frozen pizzas at the grocery store because you’re inevitably going to eat the first one within three days of buying it and be mad if you didn’t buy two.
Dedicating time and effort to yourself is the ultimate act of self-love. Doing things that are purely for your own improvement and growth will make you fall in love with yourself like never before.
Everyone needs a good glow-up year.
Dedicating time to myself to glow up, to learn, to experience joy, is the ultmate act of self-lvoe Life is long, and the opportunities are endless
You’re allowed to change your mind and your opinions. If you’re changing an opinion because you’ve learned more, gotten to know something or someone better, or experienced something new, that doesn’t make you fake or flimsy; it makes you admirable and open-minded.
Don’t let your job define who you are. It’s a big part of your life, so you should enjoy it, but the life you build outside of it is much more important.
You don’t have to finish books you don’t like, you can skip songs you aren’t feeling in the moment, and you can ditch a movie halfway through if you hate it. Life is long, but it’s also too short to put up with stuff that doesn’t make you happy.
I’m never going to outgrow my love of sweet treats, and that’s okay.
I've learned that nothing will stop me from getting a sweet treat and you know what? Hell yeah to that! (pictured: french toast by the pool, gelato in Rome, killer gelato in St. Andrews) It’s called a power suit for a reason. Every woman needs one to slay.
Portion sizes are BS, but unfortunately, you should pay attention to them and practice moderation.
You can’t rely on anyone but yourself for your own happiness. Relying exclusively on others to make you happy creates massive pressure in a relationship. When you can do that for yourself, the pressure lifts and your relationships will bloom.
There is always something to find joy in, even if it’s the tiniest thing. Less is more ;)
What I’m reading, listening to, and doing recently that brings me joy!
Reading: “It’s a Love Story” by Annabel Monaghan and “Friends with Benefits” by Marisa Kanter.
Listening: Almost exclusively to Olivia Dean and Sabrina Carpenter for all the girlie pop summer vibes!
Doing: Elevating my pool days to the next level. Last weekend I got chunky cinnamon French toast from Kneaders and had brunch by the pool, and let me tell you… that was a spiritual experience and I highly recommend!
What’s an important lesson you learned in your twenties? Tell me the rules you live by that you built/you’re building in your twenties!